Tuesday, 15 September 2009

What the fuck is planning?

Sweet Jesus. Sweet holy Jesus. I've spent the day with the agency boys getting my head completely smashed in by some kid in sloppy jeans and a, frankly, bizarre haircut who's their new 'planner'.

Now, they tell me 'planners' are nothing new, but I've never run into one before. (Then again, I may have done - I never listen to what the agency boys say unless it's 'What are you drinking, Dave?'!!!!!)

Personally, I thought planning was...you know...planning. I'm planning a holiday. I'm planning to work on my 9-iron. I'm planning a walk through Finance to ogle that new girl with the muchas impressive bristolas. Planning.

But this kid...Christ alive. Planning to him seemed to be about drawing Powerpoint charts that literally blew my mind. Some of them looked like a spider had fucked a Venn diagram in a fireworks factory.

After my 2-hour brain kicking, I looked up planning. It is, apparently, about...aah fuck it, it's here. The truly amazing thing wasn't that this kid knew bigger words than I've ever heard spoken, but HE THOUGHT THAT I'D WANT TO USE HIM ON MY ADS!

I don't need a planner. I need ads! I need someone to do an ad when I say 'Do an ad' and keep doing it until I (and my mother - she's nearly target audience) like it! What more is there to advertising? What happened? Did I miss something? When did all this shit happen?

I'm going to look into this 'planning'. And I'm going to master it.

Why? Because I AM THE CLIENT!


  1. That's pretty funny. But did you tell your agency how you feel about this, then?

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. Entertaining post, maybe a bad planner in your meeting. But the times of ’doing an ad’ is really over. The world needs good planners. Sure bet.

  4. Wrong on both counts Tobias.
    Not a bad attempt for a planner though.

  5. Fucking bravo!! There's far to many venn diagrams, pie charts, accronyms and bullshit for my liking! There is a place for planners, but lets spend more time making, creating and crafting ads!

  6. Wait, is it possible that the above are taking this most entertaining blog at face value?

  7. so you are the client? well in that case tell me something, as client I can get some Generic Viagra? I mean if I'm the client and all the service are included in this fabulous package, this mean that I can get anything I want.

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