'21st Century Consumer Durables Marketing' is, it says here, 'An insight to the changing landscape of white goods marketing, from digital evangelist and multiple award-winner, Rupert Abbott.'
Bullshit! Lies! THIS IS AN INSIGHT INTO THE CHANGING LANDSCAPE OF WHITE GOODS MARKETING! HERE! NOW! THIS BLOG!
Well, if he wants a fight, he's got one. Who cares if everybody in our industry will read his column, blog, Twitterfeed, Facebook page, RSS channel and online tutorials? Not me. Because nobody will swallow any of his cunt-fluff ramblings for a second.
Get this - his first column is about the importance of online word-of-mouth! But Rupert - nobody uses their mouth online, you chump! You use YOUR FINGERS! Your first column and you've made a schoolboy error! Everyone's laughing at you, Rupert!
I can't wait to read the next one. He'll probably say you shouldn't have women with big bristolas in your ads! I know! That would be MADNESS!
Anyway, must dash - Big Andy Poleman wants to know why our sales, website hits and brand awareness figures are down. Again. (I don't know why he's asking me - I don't really know what any of those things are!)
I'll be back tomorrow with some marketing wisdom that makes Rupert Abbott look like the gold-plated fuck-mush he is!
Why? Because I AM THE CLIENT!