Friday, 6 November 2009

Agency characters, no 3 - The Creative Director

Oh, the Creative Director! Isn't he just crazy? Isn't he just so unpredictable? It's almost like he's not doing advertising. It's like he's doing art.

Did you see that exhibition of photography he did? And have you read that novel he's writing? And have you seen that film he directed? And have you seen his website? And have you seen any fucking ads he's done?

No. You haven't - BECAUSE EVERYBODY ELSE DOES THEM WHILE HE'S THUMBING HIS BALLBAG AND THINKING ABOUT JACQUES FUCKING DERRIDA! Whoever he fucking is.

Here we have the central problem with Creative Directors. The creative they like directing is actually their own. Ask them to make an ad with a consumer durable and a fucking big price on it and they start squealing like a hairdresser who's been asked to do the buzzcuts down at the Army recruiting office.

He (or even she but, let's be honest, probably he) may have enjoyed advertising at some point. But a decade or so down the line, he hates it more than he hates clients (and he hates them A LOT). He hates advertising because he's so very far above it, you see. He outgrew it years ago when he shot a commercial with a director who'd worked with Tarrantino and they'd chuckled knowingly to each other about the stupid fucking client and their stupid fucking shampoo / nappies / breakfast cereal / car / beer / cheese / whatever.

So, now he loathes everything about his job - except, of course, the fucking gigantic salary, which is the only thing stopping him jacking it all in and making a moving documentary about Balkan design collectives. That, and the fact that he hasn't got anything like the balls.

Of course, Creative Directors absolutely hate it when you change their ads - even though they never do any. This has lead to more than one frosty / violent confrontation with me, especially when I tell them that my mother didn't like the ads because the blue is all wrong, or the headline reminds her of dead babies, or any of the other constructive comments she makes.

(My mother is nearly target audience, though. I'd be mad not to consult her - so I consult her on everything! I don't do it because I can't have an opinion of my own - no fucking way.)

I always change the ads. Because I can always make them better! And that's the problem with Creative Directors - they hate it when someone is better at their job than they are. And I am!

Why? Because I AM THE CLIENT!

2 comments:

  1. This is an absolute riot! I'm agency-side, but know all too well about "zee creative director-itis." However, I am also fortunate to have the ability to give my current employer (also chief creative dude) shit when he gets moody about changes.

    Happy agency hunting, eventually you will click with a creative team that doesn't have the egos.

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  2. yeah and I meat a guy that suicide himself, he just went buy viagra and start to drink like an idiot... of course his heart just stop and that was it.

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