Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Fucking BMWs

Help! HELP! FUCKING HEEEELLLLLP!

Ah, bollocks. I'll keep this brief. My BMW motor car has punched me right in the butt, balls and bell-end.

I'm locked in it. Now. Here - right now. I'm doing this on my laptop, sitting in the back seat.

I was working late again (didn't get out of the office until 4.50pm - I'm a martyr, I tell you) and got into my stylish black BMW motor car. Pulled the door shut, went to start the engine and realised I didn't have my keys. Tried to get out. Couldn't. Everything fucking locked. Windows locked, doors locked, sunroof...er...I haven't got one.

Anyway, I then noticed my keys on the floor just outside the car. I'd obviously dropped them as I got in.

So, there I am, stuck in my motor, banging the windows and screaming like a spastic on crystal meth...sorry, that's not very nice...like a spastic on scotch, and nobody - NOBODY - comes to help me.

About 200 people must have passed within 20 feet of my car, and not one of them came to help - some of them were even from my own fucking department!

It's almost like people don't like me or something.

Could it be that I'm despised? That people would rather leave me in a car, yelping like an abandoned dog, than simply open a door?

NAAAAHHH! Of course not! People fucking love me, don't they? I'm Dave Knockles! It's just dark what with the early nights - and the car's black. Just couldn't see me. That's all it is.

Just couldn't see me.

All 200 of them.

Couldn't see me.






I hope somebody comes.

Why? Because I am the client. And I don't like the dark.






I think I just did a wee.

3 comments:

  1. hahahaha.....may be ur agency guys would come for help!!!!

    ReplyDelete
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