Monday, 21 December 2009

I AM THE CLIENT. AND I AM ONE HUNDRED.

This, my fellow marketing professionals, is my one hundredth post.

I feel this would be a good time to take a look back at that century of total fucking genius, as well as looking forward into the medium-term, the medium-to-long term, the early long-term, the long term itself and then into the longer-term long term.

From relatively humble beginnings through strokes of utter genius, other strokes of utter genius and more strokes of utter genius, all the way to serious strokes of utter genius - it's been a really fantastic experience. And it hasn't been bad for me, either!

(Ha ha! I am so on fire today, I made Mandy Fookes cry with laughter by calling her Stupid Fook-head all day! She was literally in tears! Had to go to the loo for ages to calm down! When she came back she gave me a really nasty look - probably for making her nearly wee or something! Brilliant.)

Anyway, I've enjoyed sharing with you my wisdom, my insight, my tips, my advice and, yes, my feelings.

Not really! I'm not fucking gay! What, feelings? Yeah, right! Feelings. Yeah. I mean, no.



Big, scary feelings.

No.

Not me.





Woah! Where the fuck was I? Oh, yeah - this is my one hundredth post! My favourite, I think, was...well, all of them. Except some of the shit ones, obviously. But you can't knock them too hard - I write about 70-75% of this stuff after a generous lunch, a lengthy spell in the Dog & Hog or a marathon sesh in Delilaz. So, you know, fuck off.

Overall, I think I'd sum up my first 100 posts as being like the starters in one of my favourite nosh-stops, El Mexicaniac. Massive, juicy, hot enough to make your teeth itch and highly likely to cause an urgent trip to the crapper - yet stimulating a winky-rousing urge for more, more, more, keep it coming, more, more, yes please, more, where's my beer, more, bring another one only bigger, more, I haven't finished that yet you cunt, more, more, bring the really hot habanero sauce Pablo I don't care if I spend tomorrow shitting my spine out I'm on a fucking mission, more.

So, though I'm now winding down my insane schedule for Christmas (for instance - only two rounds of golf this week) and may post a little less frequently for a while, I hope you don't mind me carrying on for a few more beyond number 100.




What do I mean, 'I hope you don't mind'? Of course you fucking don't!

Why? Because I AM THE CLIENT!

4 comments:

  1. Best blog by a country mile, it's changed my viewpoint of clients so now i know why I get sent amends at 5:59pm on a Friday!

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  2. You muppet. You've only poster 92 times..you've been reading your post count (or is that post cunt) within Blogger that counts your drafts as entries.

    Which suggests there are 8 more pearls of knockles wisdom reading and waiting to be unleashed, like rabid hounds, onto the world...

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  3. El_Propheto!, I will post on this when I sober up. Which will be in about 3 weeks. (Well, it is fucking Christmas.)

    The 8 pearls of wisdom to which you refer are the subject of much intrigue and amazement. Well, to me anyway. You'll probably just think it's tedious shit.

    Have a lovely Christmas! And if Santa doesn't visit, maybe Satan will!

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