Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Shut until less shit


The last few posts really have been fucking stinkers, haven't they?

So I think it's best if I hang up my pen for a while. You know, until I get a bit better.

'What's this, Dave?', you may ask. 'A rare show of self-awareness? Humility even?'

Well, it may interest you to know that I am very self aware. (It's hard not to be when you're this fucking good! HA HA! I'm even funny when I'm serious!) And I am also incredibly humble. I'm terrifically, incredibly humble. I'm more humble than any other fucker out there.

For that reason, I want every post on this blog to be as amazing as I am. As you can imagine, that's not easy. (I'm not even sure it's possible.)

So, for now, take care of yourself, fellow marketing professional. Thank you all sincerely for tuning in. May your logo be bigger than your competitor's.

Naturally, it won't be bigger than mine.

Why? Because I AM THE CLIENT!


  1. Don't fuck off for too long Dave I need something to read on the toilet during the day

  2. You are seriously the funniest man in blogdom. If I were in the U.K., I would buy you a pint nightly. Your photography post was priceless. So continue to grovel in your humility my friend. Because you ARE the client!


  4. Surely a premature April Fools Dave. I only just got this now through my Google blog readery thing (I don't know what it fucking is Knockles, the intern set it up).

    I think you should reassess your position. You are showing weakness. Would you do this in front of an Agency creative team when they present their latest arthouse turd to your magnificent marketing eyes? Would you crumble like a child in front of another shit boring presentation on social fucking media? No you wouldn't.

    Man up Knockles. Look in the mirror, slap yourself a few times. Flush that humble pie down the crap trap and get back to work.

  5. Seriously.....put down the pen......how many centuries ago were you born Knockles....it's a blog....fuckwit looser....

    Do what that smart fella Steve said but slap yourself with a big old trout and sort it out. (How the fuck is anyone to work out what shit goes on in your corporate marketing suit brains?!)


  6. If you've been using a pen to to press the keys on your keyboard this whole time you could have been writing a lot more. It takes a lot less time to type with your fingers.
    I think that they have people who give lessons on this.

  7. Whatever will I do without my daily dose of Vulgarity? You swear more than I do and that's sayings something....you'll be back...You're the Fucking Client! They always come back! HAHA! Also, please, if you would, adjust my link on your blogroll to www.someadchick.com
    You are most gracious to include me in your list of agency boys...even tho, I am a Chick! :)
    Hurry Back!

  8. Why, Mr.Knockles, this must surely be just a simple case of diarrhea: I'm ready to bet that one of your exquisite lunch breaks followed by an extended visit to Delilaz will stop the excess shit!
    Besides, to quote Mr.Adscam, if you don't come back soon you'll just prove you're nothing but a douchenozzle.

    Oh, and a fucktard too...

  9. Very wise to take some time out to recharge the ole batteries Dave. You surely can't fail to be inspired after a few days basking in your own brilliance