Friday, 25 June 2010

I AM THE CLIENT AGAIN!

My fellow marketing professionals. It gives me immense pleasure to announce that I AM CUNTING BACK!

This morning I accepted an offer of employment from Simon Schitz, CEO of Europe's leading supplier of marital aids, pleasure enhancing devices and prosthetic genitals to the over-50s market.

You are being blogged at by his new Marketing Director & Hygiene Supervisor! (It's about a 60-40 split, in terms of time.)

To all my ex-colleagues, I have one simple message: SUCK ON MY NEW JOB, YOU FUCK-BOWLS! YOU SAID I WAS FINISHED! I AM NOT FINISHED! I AM JUST BEGINNING! I AM IN CHARGE OF TWO DEPARTMENTS! NOT ONE! TWO! PUSH THAT SLOWLY INTO YOUR CLACKERS, HOLD DOWN 'MENU' AND 'SELECT' - AND REBOOT YOUR FUCKING DANGLEBAGS, YOU SCAT-FELCHING WANKSLOTS!

Great things are going to happen, my friends. Great things. And I can recommence your education in the fine and mysterious arts of marketing communications with an emphasis on envelope-busting idea-bombs that engender consumer delight. I can also continue my new sideline in reviewing restaurants, as well as generally enlightening the world with an occasional series I'm calling The Dave Knockles Lectures.

You will surely tune in.

Why? Because I AM THE CLIENT!

5 comments:

  1. Congratulations Dave, you lucky cunt.

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  2. There comes a moment in any man's life that, when he looks back on it, is clearly pivotal in his time upon the Earth. For some it's the birth of their first child. For the generation before the generation before us, Dave, it was the end of years of war. (The second one.) For me, it's the realisation that marketing, advertising, "comms" – call it what you will (but only the last one if you're a proper cunt) – can be elevated to a higher plane by the efforts of one man. A man of insight, rare intelligence, and a weak anus who never loses the ability to connect with everyman (and properly connect with women, eh Dave?) That man is you, Dave. Thanks for coming back.

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  3. Can't wait for the Knockles Lectures - I'm tired of everyone banging on about TED - time for some real enlightenment.

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  4. 生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。......................................................................

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  5. every time I read you Dave it brings turds to my eyes...hugs!

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