My fellow marketing professionals. It gives me immense pleasure to announce that I AM CUNTING BACK!
This morning I accepted an offer of employment from Simon Schitz, CEO of Europe's leading supplier of marital aids, pleasure enhancing devices and prosthetic genitals to the over-50s market.
You are being blogged at by his new Marketing Director & Hygiene Supervisor! (It's about a 60-40 split, in terms of time.)
To all my ex-colleagues, I have one simple message: SUCK ON MY NEW JOB, YOU FUCK-BOWLS! YOU SAID I WAS FINISHED! I AM NOT FINISHED! I AM JUST BEGINNING! I AM IN CHARGE OF TWO DEPARTMENTS! NOT ONE! TWO! PUSH THAT SLOWLY INTO YOUR CLACKERS, HOLD DOWN 'MENU' AND 'SELECT' - AND REBOOT YOUR FUCKING DANGLEBAGS, YOU SCAT-FELCHING WANKSLOTS!
Great things are going to happen, my friends. Great things. And I can recommence your education in the fine and mysterious arts of marketing communications with an emphasis on envelope-busting idea-bombs that engender consumer delight. I can also continue my new sideline in reviewing restaurants, as well as generally enlightening the world with an occasional series I'm calling The Dave Knockles Lectures.
You will surely tune in.
Why? Because I AM THE CLIENT!