Thomas Cook are demanding a signing-on fee from agencies. They want a cool million quid from the agency that has their account.
WHY DIDN'T I FUCKING THINK OF THIS? IT'S GENIUS!
All the time I was paying agencies to work for me, I should have been asking for that money back as payment for the pleasure of doing it! In fact, while we're on the subject, why the fuck should I pay agencies at all? Shouldn't they pay ME? After all, I'm giving them work, which is a Good Thing. Shouldn't they pay for that Good Thing? Why should they get a Good Thing for shit-all? They've being conning us all along, the fuckers!
Thanks, Thomas Cook. Thanks for showing us all the right way to do things. I'm slightly embarrassed I didn't cook this wheeze up myself, but you can be darn sure I'll be using it from now on - and so will every other client in the world! Ker-fucking-ching!
While we're on the subject, however, I think it only fair that I get a fee from Thomas Cook for having to sit through the Redknapps' fucking wedding video. Here it is. Try not to puke, shit yourself or pull your foreskin over your head, stick dynamite up your clacker and jump through a window. This is not a Good Thing. This is a Bad Thing, and I want my cunting money.
Agency boys - prepare for a new way of being fucked in the ear!
Why? Because THOMAS COOK IS THE CLIENT!