Friday, 6 August 2010

Fuck it

I've got a job offer on the table and I can't fucking decide what to do for the life of me.

Blllaaaaargh. You know? Pfft. Blaap. Splllaaaaaargh. Can't fucking decide. Shit shit shit.

On the one hand, I could go back to my old place and be the Director of Marketing (which is fucking different to Marketing Director - FUCKING different) of the number 2 in the European consumer durables market relating to, or directly involving, cleaning clothes and or soft furnishings and or other fabrics.

Or, on the other hand, I could remain Marketing Director of Europe's number one distributor of sex aids, love machines, erotic devices, pornographic enhancement utensils and...well...big fucking dildos for the over-50s.

It's a tough one. I can't decide. I can't decide. I can't decide.

So, I thought I'd get all fucked up on beer and booze and WKD and claret and scotch and Malibu and sherry and scotch and gin and booze and beer and see what happens.

S'like...you know? It's really fucking...like...blaaaagh. You know? Like...just...fucking what? Come on! Fuck off! It's like that. It's exactly like that.

I don't know what to do. I've got a decision to make. FUCK!

It's like...well, put it this way: you know when...NO! I tell you what it's like! It's like....oooh, what's the fucking word now? It's like those things, those fucking things you get when you're a kid...er...GAAAAAGH! What are they? I can't remember. Fuck it. Never mind. It's just...you know...YOU know. You know?

It's like that.

Cor. I'm writing this in the boozer now. I've got my laptop all set up like and that. Wifi. Wireless and that. I've had a few pints of things and some other pints and a bottle and some glasses and stuff and, really, honestly...like, seriously...I think I can't make my mind up just yet.

Maybe I should have another pints of bottles or whatever and that.

HA HA! Someone just said to me...HA HA HA HA! That was brilliant! Oooh, fuck, that was hilarious! He just comes up to me and says...HA HA HA HA! AAAAH HA HA HA HA! Oh, it was fucking brilliant! He said it all...like...funny and that! Oooh, priceless. You should have been here.

Oooh, it's great working in the pub. I'll decide on my decision in a bit.

Anyway, I'd better call the agency and get them to change everything on the ads they're doing.

Why? Because I AM THE CLIENT AND IT'S 4PM ON A FUCKING FRIDAY!

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