The Dave Knockles Lectures

I have for some time been considered a marketing expert, guru, legend, genius - call me what you will.

I am the man, after all, who devised cloudvertising, identified a way to suck the gay market dry, invented the 'bristolas, product name in headline, big price flash' holy trinity of perfect advertising and...well, loads more. Fucking loads. Basically, I've forgotten more than you know. Sometimes, I forget what I know. Some days, I forget everything. It's almost like I know absolutely nothing at all and my head is completely empty. But then I just make something up and it turns out to be total genius.

Anyway, I am not just one of the leading figures in modern marketing.

I am also a man.

Yes - just a man.

But a man who can help the people of the world find a better way to live by imparting the knowledge he has built up over a life that could, without exaggeration, be considered cuntissimally amazing.

Now that my agency have agreed to let me have nothing at all to do with the advertising, I am free to communicate with the world in ways that I hope will benefit every woman, every man, the children are the future, imagine all the people, together as one, teaching the world to sing.

If you see what I mean.

(What do I mean?)

I'll change the fucking world, basically.

I will do this through a series of lectures. I will call these The Dave Knockles Lectures because I am Dave Knockles, and they are lectures. So it makes fucking sense, innit?

The first of these lectures will be on one of the subjects that, outside the world of convention-busting marketing and communications innovation, is something I am most passionate about:

The Art of Pablo Picasso.

I will complete this lecture over the next few days and deliver it here on my blog, in person. Well, in person via the words I write. In other words, it'll be like every other post on my blog. What about it? If you've got a problem with that, I suggest you scrunch it up into a ball and fist it right up your fucking hoop, you shitathon.

Still, it will be a real fucking eye-opener. You know this.

Why? Because I AM THE CLIENT!