Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Hello? Campaign? HELLLLOOOOO?

It turns out that The Ad Contrarian, American advertising's best blogger, has signed a deal to write for Adweek.

So as British advertising's best blogger, surely Campaign should be knocking a fucking hole in my door to get ME to sign.

Have they?

Have they fucking balls.

What is wrong with these people? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?

Here I am - the golden fucking goose - and they...or am I the golden egg? Or is my blog the egg?

Hang on. Let's fucking think about this for a second. I'm the goose, right? That makes sense. But the eggs I lay are the blog posts. Yes?

Were the eggs golden, or the goose? Was it a normal goose, but the eggs were golden?

Surely a normal goose laying golden eggs would be no use. You might eat the thing before you knew it could lay golden eggs. But, then again, a golden goose would just sit there being...gold.

Jesus. This is hard.

Hmm.

What to do?

Fuck it - I'm a golden goose laying big, shiny golden eggs. Let's just agree on that, can we?

Yes?

Good.

Right. Where was I?

Ah! That's it: fucking Campaign. What a bunch of cuntbuckets.




Anyway, I've got frigging work to do. I'm off to sit in a series of pointless morning meetings with my agency, the sole purpose of which is to provide an excuse for a massive free lunch.

Why? Because I AM THE CLIENT!

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