Sorrell announces amazing client-fucking results

News in that Martin Sorrell's WPP group has posted some really tremendous results across his entire client-fucking corporation.

Pre-tax client-humping profits are up 18.5%, in what Sorrell called an 'outstanding' year for sucking clients dry better than a 10 grand hooker.

Across the global client-fisting group, revenue rose to £44.79billion, showing it's possible to rinse clients for work that hits new lows year on year, even when the rest of the world is clenching its arsehole tight and praying that there's enough in the kitty at the end of the month to give the kids a hot meal.

The improvement in results was a global trend. The USA knuckle-fucked its clients to the tune of £3.39billion, despite a strong dollar, while the account-bangers of Western Europe managed to reach up their clients' beleagured fudgepipes and yank out £2.51billion - 7.7% up on 2010, when clients' ringholes were already more tattered than a paper bag in a McDonald's car park.

Overall, the results bode well for other client-reaming organisations, perhaps signaling an era of rising profits across the whole client-screwing, client-shafting, client-felching and client-doinking sectors.

More client-balling news as I have it.

Why? Because I AM THE CLIENT GETTING BALLED!